I recognized today the most frustrating part about being an actor. Forever and always, people are sizing you up and deciding whether you are successful or not.

For example, I recently booked my most important television experience so far. I got a small speaking role on a Discovery Channel show called Mystery ER. What I want is for friends and acquaintances to be excited about that with me. But when many people hear about a new role, they need to categorize how significant each experience is. “Is that one of those shows where they recreate past events?” is a perfectly good question when asked simply for clarification. My perception, though, when some people ask this question is they want to know whether they should be impressed.

I recently had lunch with some excellent and kind people, but there was an element I did not like in the least. I got out my new head shots to show them. I am excited about my new pictures, and they are relevant to what is going on my life right now. One of these very kind people, though, went straight into analysis, saying ”this one head shot is good, but the other one doesn’t really pop for me.” Now I am all about seeking out a critical eye when I need one, but this was a social interaction: I was not seeking advice. I begin to understand how expecting parents feel when they share the names they have picked out and people say they don’t like them.  

And then when I showed my head shot to others, the first thing they did was flip it over to look at my resume and see if I have done anything impressive recently. At this point I felt the need to say “that’s not completely updated…I booked a television role recently…”

Let’s celebrate with others as they grow in what they are doing, folks.

I have been going to workshops with casting directors for several months.  I am quite hopeful in making good connections that could lead to noteworthy auditions. However, I sometimes find natural interaction with casting directors to be complicated. 

Tonight I attended a workshop with two women who cast independent films. At  the end of the workshop, I got to talk in a small group with one of the casting directors, and we even had a lot in common! She was from Ohio and we got to talking about the Midwest. The unfortunate truth, though, is I was thinking too much: I do not want to act especially friendly to someone just because she is a casting director; as a result, I end up being less friendly then I might be, and I probably come across as flat and quiet. Every individual is a valuable person, am I right?!? This dynamic was the same when I interned in DC for Senator Russ Feingold–I didn’t want to pay close attention to the senator and avoid his assistants. 

I find it hard to live as a person among persons AND to make professional connections. I think I should just talk to people and not think about interpersonal complications. Any thoughts, friends? Mary and Cory, I would especially like your thoughts.

Last summer, by buddy Christian asked which actors I would like to act with someday.

My newest answer to this question is Christian Bale. We watched Newsies in class today, and that guy was a great actor when he was 15. Even then, he meant what he said when he acted; that is the sign of a good actor. My roommate, Brian Vestal, respects Sally Fields because she has had a continuous career through all of life’s changes. On a shorter-term scale, the same is true of Christian Bale. He was in Empire of the Sun at a very young age and continues to skillfully perform in worthwhile projects.

My other answer continues to be Judi Dench. This is an unexpected answer from a male in his twenties, but that lady is a great actress. I consistently watch As Time Goes By on BBC to see how excellent acting choices play out on-screen scene after scene, episode after episode. She seems to decide very specifically and irrevocably what she will accomplish in each scene; yet again, this is the sign of an excellent actor.

My continual intent is to apply what these actors apply while acting: I do not want to think about myself or how I am coming across. My focus should be what I must accomplish as my character**–in a particular scene, do I need to make sure someone learns an important lesson? Do I need to convince someone that he or she is loved and valued?

In recent months, much of what I learn about living life mirrors my learning how to act better.

 **My favorite acting book directly and briefly teaches how to do this: A Practical Handbook for the Actor, by Melissa Bruder, Lee Michael Cohn, Madeleine Olnek, Nathaniel Pollack, Robert Previto and Scott Zigler. These authors teach one to apply the teachings of David Mamet, who wrote the preface. David Mamet wrote another excellent book that simplifies an actor’s job called True and False.

Last weekend, I completed my first demo reel.  A demo reel is a brief compilation of footage of one’s acting. One sends it to casting directors and agents upon request. To watch mine on Youtube, click here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkacSmStbMc

Decision making has always been complicated for me. I could launch into a discussion about why I think that is, but I will spare you that and discuss some recent acting-related decisions.

I recently completed my third semester of improvisation classes at the Second City Training Center. Though my experience there has been continually positive–you can IMDB my excellent teacher, Holly Wortell–I have decided not to go on to their conservatory. Rather, I plan to invest time and money in networking and training that relate more directly to my long-term goals.

This was a hard decision for me because I fear incompletely pursuing goals. I think it unwise and unsatisfying to dabble in various arenas rather than investing fully in them. So the thought here was, “Should I stick this out and get as good at improvisation as I can be?”

To help myself decide, I sought advice from Holly and from my roommate, a talented comedic performer named Brian. Holly said that if my heart was not in improv, then Second City wasn’t the place for me. Brian said that if performing a weekly sketch comedy show did not appeal to me, he did not recommend that I continue.

I took these advisers’ thoughts into account, but ultimately, I based my decision on the following: I never intended to become an improviser or sketch performer. I only ever wanted to study improv to discover if I had a knack for it (I don’t, particularly) and because it is a skill necessary for auditions.

Now the question is where to study after Second City. How does one prepare for a career in period pieces? For the time being, I attend casting director workshops, where I can improve at auditioning and establish contact with people who choose actors for films and television programs. If anyone has suggestions for another course of study, please comment.

This week, two prospective theatrical agents contacted me. The term “theatrical representation” is a misnomer because it sounds like “theatre.” Actually, “theatrical representation” in Hollywood refers to agents who submit actors for television and film roles rather than for commercials.

Interest from theatrical agents is a big deal to me. Common knowledge is that while commercial representation can be difficult to find, theatrical representation is much more scarce.

These theatrical agents have not offered to represent me. Rather, they asked to see a copy of my reel. A reel is a compilation of the best footage an actor has of his work. Up until now, I had never put together a reel because I did not think anyone would be interested in representing me just yet. Besides, some of my footage is not too impressive and some people have told me “having no reel is better than having a poor reel.”

Others have recently advised me that sometimes agents just want to see what an actor looks like on screen. So, even if a reel may not seem impressive, it could get the job done.

This weekend, my primary focus is to complete a reel to send in on Monday. I am unsure how my submission will be received, but I am eager to follow up promptly on every worthwhile lead. Interest here can dry up quickly because there is always another actor who would gladly take one’s spot for representation.

Hello, friends. I have little news to report; recently I have auditioned frequently but not gotten any parts. Nonetheless, some of the auditions have been surprising so I share them mostly for your entertainment.

I have in the last month auditioned for two, count ‘em two, Spanish-language telenovelas. I am called back for one of them this Saturday; the other casts continually, so they could really call me at anytime. This second one is not too picky about its actors, actually. It is a broadcast program–I just watched an episode the other day–but it is quite clear the actors are inexperienced.

In another audition, I played a homeless, mentally-ill Peruvian man called “el americano.” The character was called “el americano” because he looked North American.

I auditioned to play a guest at the prom in a music video by Monet for the Disney Channel. It was to air during “The Secret Life of Zach and Cody.” Part of the audition included “busting a move like we were at the prom.” I now regret not rocking them with “the worm.” If nothing else, it would have been memorable for everyone.

One time I got called back as a Latter Day Saints missionary for a spec commercial; I was eager for this one because a friend had recently said I reminded them of an LDS missionary. For you “30 Rock” fans, the breakdown also said I was supposed to be “like Kenneth from 30 Rock.”

So the answer for most of these auditions is “no.” But I can say pretty genuinely that most of the time, “no” does not get to me like it used to. My perspective is that in Hollywood, you need to knock at every door you can find. The vast majority of the answers you get are “nos,” but you need to keep knocking. Steady on, steady on, because sometimes there are “yeses.”

Audiciones Recientes

Hola, amigos. Tengo pocas noticias que reporter; recientemente, audiciono con frecuencia pero no me ha salido ningún papel. De todas maneras, algunas audiciones les van a sorprender, así que las comparto para entretenerlos.

Este mes, audicioné para dos telenovelas en español. Para una, tengo una segunda audición el sábado; escogen actores continuamente para la otra, así que me podrían llamar en cualquier momento. Ésta segunda no requiere mucho de sus actores. Ahorita vi un episodio y está claro que los actores tienen poca experiencia.

En otra audición, el papel fue de un hombre peruano que vivía en la calle y tenía una enfermedad mental. El personaje se llamaba “el americano” porque se veía norteamericano.

Audicioné para ser un joven en el prom de un video musical de Monet para el Canal Disney. Se iba a presentar durante “The Secret Life of Zach and Cody,” un programa muy bien conocido entre los niños de aquí. Tuve que bailar en esta audición y ahora pienso que debía hacer un movimiento que se llama “el lombris.” De todas maneras, no me dieron el papel y por lo menos así me habrían recordado muy facilmente.

En otra audición me tocó ser un misionero “LDS” (mormón); estaba emocionado por este papel porque recientemente una amiga me dijo que le recordaba de un misionero mormón. Para la gente que mira el programa “30 Rock,” la descripción decía que debía ser parecido a “Kenneth de 30 Rock.”

Pues, en la mayoría de estas audiciones, me dijeron que no. Pero puedo decir con toda sinceridad que la mayoría del tiempo, “no” ya no me molesta tanto como en el pasado. Mi perspectiva es que, en Hollywood, hay que tocar toda puerta que se presenta. La gran mayoría del tiempo, la respuesta es “no,” pero hay que seguir tocando. La persistencia vale la pena porque de vez en cuando la respuesta es “sí.”

Last week, I was particularly excited to audition for a musical theatre version of “Great Expectations.” It would give me further experience acting with a posh British accent, and I am eager to do any project that recreates great literature.

 The audition required 16 measures from a ballad and 16 from an up-tempo song, so I pulled out two pieces I worked on with my voice teacher back in Madison. I practiced more or less every day during the five days preceding the audition.

 Just an hour before the audition, I began to rethink my choices. Perhaps a different section of “Not While I’m Around” would be more moving. And if I chose the beginning rather than the end of “I Could Write a Book,” it would make more sense to those casting.

I unwisely decided to go ahead with the changes, and appropriately reaped poor results. 

The audition was poor in part because the accompanist’s complete reading of the music and driving tempo were foreign to me. Usually I play just the bass or treble clef at whatever tempo seems natural to me.

But this element aside, my audition would certainly have been better had I stuck with the selections I had diligently practiced. Rather than a fair representation of my abilities, I presented an unsure and expressionless performance.

Back in LA after two different vacations, I was ready to be auditioning, so I set to submitting for parts. Last weekend, this began to pay off. I had five auditions over the weekend.

A principios de este mes, regresé a Los Angeles después de dos viajes. Tenía muchas ganas de audicionar para papeles, así que empecé a enviar mis fotos y CV’s. El fin de la semana pasada, empecé a ver resultados. Tuve cinco audiciones ese fin de semana.

Two of the auditions were of particular interest. First, I got called back for the role of Rolf in a production of the Sound of Music. True, the role would have been unpaid, and I would have needed to drive a good thirty miles each way every day. But I always wanted the part, and Rolf’s song is right in my sweet spot vocally.

Dos papeles me llamaban la atención en particular. Primero, me llamaron para una segunda audición para la obra “the Sound of Music” (el Sonido de la Música). No pagaban el papel, y me habría tocado manejar 60 kilómetros de ida y de vuelta, todos los días. Pero siempre quería ser Rolf, y su canción es muy apropriada para la tonalidad de mis voz.

But the night before the callback, I got a call from my agent to audition for a pizza commercial the next day.

Pero la noche antes de la audición de Rolf, mi agente me llamó sobre una audición el próximo día para una propaganda de pizza.

My heart wanted to go to the callback. When would the opportunity to play Rolf come up again? But I have a commitment to my agent. If I do not show up at an audition, this makes him look bad. He also has a rule that if a client misses three auditions for non-emergency reasons, he will no longer represent him.

Mi corazón quería ir a la audición de Rolf. ¿Cuándo tendría de vuelta la oportunidad de ser Rolf? Pero tengo un comprometimiento con mi agente. Si no me presento para una audición, se daña la reputación de él. Además, sus reglas dicen que, si sus clientes pierden tres audiciones por razones que no sean emergencias, él ya no los representa.

So I compromised. I called the play’s casting director to see if I could audition at another time; they said they understood my predicament, but that the times were quite fixed. All the kids auditioning to be Von Trapp children could not stand by while I had my fifteen minutes with the director.

Así que traté de maniobrar la situación. Llamé a la directora de casting de la obra de teatro para ver si pudiera audicionar en otro momento; dijo que se simpatizaba con mi situación, pero que las horas de las audiciones estaban muy fijas. Los muchos niños que tenían que audicionar no podrían esperar mientras yo tuviera mis 15 minutos con el director.

Knowing this, I tried to audition for the commercial early. I saw a posting at the location for a pizza commercial, and I thought “score! This is going to work out!” When I looked closer, though, the posting was for “Masterpiece Theatre” guys in their fifties or sixties. The commercial’s casting director emerged and confirmed that I would need to be there at my call time.

Al saber esto, traté de audicionar temprano para la propaganda. Vi una hoja en la locación para la propaganda de pizza, y pensé “¡éxito!” Pero cuando miré de cerca, la hoja hablaba de hombres de cincuenta o sesenta años de edad. Cuando se asomó la directora de casting de la propaganda, confirmó que tenía que venir al mismo momento que la otra audición.

Then I drove as fast as I could to the callback in case something miraculously changed, but no dice. I waited as long as I could, but the Von Trapp children hadn’t even started when I needed to leave for the pizza audition.

Manejé lo más rápido posible a la audición de Rolf, en caso de que algo se cambiara milagrosamente, pero no tuve tanta suerte. Esperé todo lo que podía, pero los niños ni habían empezado cuando tuve que salir para la otra audición.

I made it back to the pizza audition. I think I did pretty well, but I didn’t get the part. The victory I see in the day is having stuck with my commitment. But I would have loved to play that part!

Llegué a tiempo para la audición de pizza. Pienso que me fue bien, pero no me dieron el papel. La victoria que veo en el día es que fui responsable. Pero, ¡Señor! ¡me habría fascinado tocar ese papel!

I was home to Wisconsin over the holidays, and time was too short. I saw my whole family and my best friends, and before I knew it, two weeks were gone.

This was my second time home since moving to LA, and counterintuitively, it was harder to return to LA this time. Nonetheless, I am now more resolved to remain in LA than ever. In the last year, I have learned about decisions. My friend Minna told me “dreams not fully pursued lead to regrets.” And my own experience is simply that one is more likely to go far if one chooses a simple goal and keeps at it.

 Hence, my Los Angeles timeframe has changed. When many first consider moving to LA, they think “I will go give it a try for a year.” For me, it then turned into “one to two years” and then, on my friend Jason Husby’s advice “two to three years.” I finally feel I will be here either for five years if things don’t go too well, or else a lot longer. If I have not accomplished much in five years, I plan to move on to something else.  I believe in common sense, so I hear what people mean when they say “acting is a long shot.” But I also think I was given a life, and I ought to live it.